Here are the secrets to a successful relationship:
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Last week I had the opportunity to take my wife away (without our 4 children) to celebrate our anniversary. It wasn’t just another anniversary. This year was different. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.
Rekindling the magic
Because 20 years ago, we spend our honeymoon at Disneyworld, we decided to rekindle the magic and we headed to Disneyland. We had a great time. My wife prepared T-shirts in true Disney theme that had our wedding date printed on them and if we stood in just the right place, it looked like Mickey and Minnie Mouse were kissing.
You’re likely thinking one of 2 things: 1 oh that’s so sweet they wore Mickey Mouse shirts. But if your a man, you might be wondering, “I can’t believe you actually wore Mickey Mouse shirts!”
Yes, yes I did and it was really fun to celebrate in this way. It was great until the server at one of the restaurants we had lunch looked at our wedding date and felt the need to blurt out “WOW, I wasn’t even born yet!” I have had this wondering in the back of my mind if I was getting old but this was the confirmation I wasn’t looking for.
But I also think this is something to truly celebrate and reflect on the idea of how we got here. Because in my past, I didn’t have an example of a 20 year marriage to help shape my view. In fact, I think I remember mostly what NOT to do when it comes to marriage based on certain areas of my childhood.
So how did we get here?
I was talking about this with my wife and I think we’ve come up with about 3 things that make our relationship strong. As we discuss them, it’s not a time for us to brag about the great things that happened to us, especially since much of our success is because I’ve married the most amazing person in all the world.
But these things really did help, and I realized that some of these lessons I’ve learned can also be applied to your health. So let’s dive in.
Communication
Communication is such a vital part of our relationship and it’s unfortunately the area that I struggle with the most. But we realize that if we can actually talk to each other, tell the truth every day, and let each other in to our lives, then every day our relationship becomes stronger and we grow closer and closer together.
When I notice that I’m failing to communicate, I will throughout the day come up with 3 things that I want to share with my wife. They could be anything, wins, frustrations, challenges, anything. Just be prepared to communicate.
When it comes to your health, be willing to talk about it. Share the truth about where you are, what your goals are, and how you’re going to get there. Open dialogue with others holds you more accountable. Telling yourself the truth about your health will help you to set proper goals and direction.
Time
One thing that my wife and I are really good at is setting aside real time for each other. We commit to things like our Thursday Night Wining. The kids go to bed early and we may have a glass of wine, or maybe we just whine about our week, or both. Either way, it’s time that we’ve devoted to each other and the entire family (especially the kids) and they understand it.
Prioritizing our Thursday nights and regular dates just the 2 of us or even big getaways like going to Disneyland for our anniversary have contributed to a strong bond that can’t be broken.
How much time do you give to your health? Is it something that you think about every once in a while? Or do you daily take steps to improve your health. How often do you workout? Or simply go outside for a walk? Even here in the desert summer heat, there are times in the morning and evening that can be devoted to exercise without the need for extra equipment, supplies, or expense.
Commitment to each other
Now that our children are living in preteen and teenager categories, a new strategy in their arsenal of trying to get what they want is to try to put their parents up against each other. “Mommy said this! Or Daddy said this!!” You would think that by now they would realize that this wouldn’t work and we tell them why.
It’s because Jennifer and I are such an unstoppable force. We don’t let anything get in the way of us, our marriage and our bond together. We will never always agree. In fact, we disagree on lots of things (my wife is almost always right though). But even on those moments that we disagree, we know that in the end, we are not going to be defined by the disagreements, but on our commitment to being together, we are unified every day.
Some points to ponder
When you are looking at your daily life, what are the things that could get in the way of your health? Does someone bring donuts to work every day? Do your friends want you to spend time with them at the bar, or at the gym? Do you feel like you just don’t have time to commit to the work it takes to achieve your health goals?
Just remember through all those test and challenges, what is your true commitment? Are you committed to the easy route? Will you give up whenever there’s something that gets in the way of you being healthy? Or is your commitment to your health an unstoppable force that nothing can stand in your way?
Only you can answer that question and if you don’t like your answer, only you can change it.
So those are the 3 secrets to a healthy relationship:
- 1Communication
- 2Time
- 3Commitment
They have been an important part of our relationship and they can make a difference in your health.
Before I end this post. I do need to point out that I have been blessed with the most perfect person that I can imagine being with. My wife Jennifer is super smart, incredibly funny, fights for what she believes in, and makes a real difference in our world. Without her, none of this is possible. She is the reason that 20 years feels like just a little drop in the big bucket of life and I’m looking forward to our next 50.
Click here if you want more information about how to keep your marriage going along with your health.
Have a look at this article: Empathy – The Key To Parenting In The Pandemic
